Chaos

"Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?"
- Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes.

 I am a kind of person who takes impulsive decisions. I don't like t think a lot before taking huge decisions. Most of the occasions they paid off. But there are times, that they didn't. After completing my graduation, most of my well wishers wanted me to go for post graduation. So I too thought that would a good idea. Before all those pg dreams started polluting my brain, I had gone for an interview at Wipro. Accidentally, I successfully cleared all the barriers and they offered me a job. Since I was sure that I would qualify the GATE examination and would get a pg seat somewhere I turned down the offer. I started waiting for the pg seat allotments. Allotments came and gone, yet i didn't get admission anywhere. Months had passed, my neighbors and all the people I started asking about my plans. This became a routine. Same question, everywhere I go. I had taken them lightly. But as the time began to run through my hands, I became desperate. Moreover I noticed people's expressions, when they inquire me about my plans. It was becoming sarcastic. I was developing a kind of fear to face people. A kind of despair was conquering me. I was losing myself. I sat inside my room, day and night, cursing my fate.

Out of the blue, I got an email asking me to join for pg at a college. Lord's Grace. I grabbed that opportunity and joined there. I don't know whether it was the right decision. The time will tell. But now I am happy that I have outlived the dark ages of my life. I guess, the essence being human is the chaos, in the risks.